Just a quick update to say that we are going to look into another house hopefully tomorrow. We drove by it tonight and it looks nice from the outside, is located by the university (which isnt a bad thing--unlike at ball state! lol), so hopefully we'll hear back from the realtor tomorrow.
Jay had the day off today and we took Oliver to the zoo. then he got to go swimming- twice!- at Jays parents so heres hoping he sleeps great the rest of the night!
Oh, and totally random, but I am *LOVING* the cloth diapers on Oliver. Its so cool to think that we could pretty much be done buying diapers. I'm sure I'll add to our stash a little at a time but I'm getting to the point where I don't even like to use disposables anymore. I was only going to do cloth part time but I'm ready to do it full time. Which means I'll have to add some more so that I have enough to make it in between laundry times, but I really wont need too many more. I'm so glad we made the switch!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Still Living in a "compartment"
So on Tuesday of last week we looked at a rental house and **Loved** it. It was in the perfect location. It had a playroom. Which had one whole wall lined with built in cabinets which would have been perfect for Oliver's toys. It was 3 bedroom, one of which had built-in bookcases. (And if you know me, you know I own practically a small library. lol) One and a half baths, and the full bath had two sinks and a huge vanity area. Nice front porch area and a fenced in back yard. New central air. A one-car garage that had enough room also for some storage.
So we go to look at it on Tuesday, and the realtor gets some information from us such as Jay's work history and wages and said he was basically determining if we would be able to afford it. (Which we could.) He said there were others who had looked at it that day and the owner wanted to meet with those of us interested and then decide.
I prayed my heart out. I seriously have never prayed Heaven down like I did last week.
Wednesday passed. No word.
Thursday passed. No word.
Friday I couldn't stand it. Jay called and asked to talk to Jim, the realtor about the house, and the lady who answered the phone said that Jim was out and the house had been rented on Thursday.
I was devastated. I'll admit it. Crushed. Jay made the call at the beginning of our drive down to my mom's and I cried for most of the hour and a half drive down to Indy.
Boy was I struggling. I know God's timing is perfect, and I even prayed that if it wasn't meant to be that God would keep us out of there. Which is exactly what he did. But man I thought for sure it was meant to be.
Today I'm feeling much better. If that house wasn't the right one for us, I can't wait to see what is! God must have something awesome in store for us. I can't wait to get to it.....
Pray that we get out of this crappy "compartment" soon. I can barely stand living there. Going "home" is not relaxing or enjoyable. We spend as much time away from there as we can. We are rarely ever home for a night. I am embarassed to have people come over. I will go far out of my way to avoid having people come over. Its not that bad, really, but its cramped and I am just not proud of it, I guess you could say. I want some place that I have some pride in. Maybe that's my problem? Maybe I shouldn't be storing my treasures here on Earth but storing them in Heaven? But don't you also think God wants us to feel good here, too?
I go round and round with these kind of questions. "God, please get us into a home soon. Please."
"But God, its not about the material stuff, really."
Really.
So we go to look at it on Tuesday, and the realtor gets some information from us such as Jay's work history and wages and said he was basically determining if we would be able to afford it. (Which we could.) He said there were others who had looked at it that day and the owner wanted to meet with those of us interested and then decide.
I prayed my heart out. I seriously have never prayed Heaven down like I did last week.
Wednesday passed. No word.
Thursday passed. No word.
Friday I couldn't stand it. Jay called and asked to talk to Jim, the realtor about the house, and the lady who answered the phone said that Jim was out and the house had been rented on Thursday.
I was devastated. I'll admit it. Crushed. Jay made the call at the beginning of our drive down to my mom's and I cried for most of the hour and a half drive down to Indy.
Boy was I struggling. I know God's timing is perfect, and I even prayed that if it wasn't meant to be that God would keep us out of there. Which is exactly what he did. But man I thought for sure it was meant to be.
Today I'm feeling much better. If that house wasn't the right one for us, I can't wait to see what is! God must have something awesome in store for us. I can't wait to get to it.....
Pray that we get out of this crappy "compartment" soon. I can barely stand living there. Going "home" is not relaxing or enjoyable. We spend as much time away from there as we can. We are rarely ever home for a night. I am embarassed to have people come over. I will go far out of my way to avoid having people come over. Its not that bad, really, but its cramped and I am just not proud of it, I guess you could say. I want some place that I have some pride in. Maybe that's my problem? Maybe I shouldn't be storing my treasures here on Earth but storing them in Heaven? But don't you also think God wants us to feel good here, too?
I go round and round with these kind of questions. "God, please get us into a home soon. Please."
"But God, its not about the material stuff, really."
Really.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Oliver's new Rumparooz!!!!!
Now tell me that diaper isnt too cute?!?!
Our first attempt didnt go well because I didnt have the insert folded correctly when I put it in. These have an insert that you can fold specifically to give extra in front for boys. Well, I did that wrong and he wet through while getting ready to fall asleep. Second attempt tonight was successful. They are too cute! I'm already hooked on cloth diapers. I can't wait until I have a good stock and can give up on using disposables. I'm sure I'll still have to use them occasionally, but I hate the feel of them after feeling the cloth diapers. The CD's must feel so much more comfortable on him! I want him to feel that instead of the "plastic"y feel of 'sposies.
I think it might be hard for some guys to understand what I mean by plastic-y feel. But c'mon ladies, all of us have had to wear a pad at one point or another, so we know how it feels. Not exactly the most comfortable thing, eh?
Monday, July 5, 2010
Big Boy Haircut
Before... (he didnt want his picture taken)
And after!
(he looks a bit disheveled with the baggy shirt, but doesnt his hair look adorable?!)
Oliver...
...is getting his first hair cut today at 4:45. Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous about it. The child does not sit still easily. at all. So this is going to be interesting. Its taken me about two months to work up the nerve to get this done, so its about time to get it over with. It wont be cut short (probably ever!) because his curls are too adorable. I did have a nightmare the other night that my grandmother shaved his head! LOL But the top is getting so long and scraggly, its not the cute shaggy look anymore. Especially since he likes to play with his hair and pull at it for comfort, especially when he's in the car or tired. So it usually ends up looking a bit disheveled. Hopefully after today it'll look super cute with a new haircut. :) I'll be sure to post pics later.
Happy Monday, everyone!
Happy Monday, everyone!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Going Cloth!
That's right, people, soon we will be going cloth, a.k.a. using cloth diapers. So far I've gotten mixed reactions to this, which is what I expected. I think we'll get a *lot* more once we actually start using them instead of just talking about them. As is everything with parenting, others seem to think they need to give their opinion on it. That's ok..I have my opinions too. :)
I find it kind of funny that people actually care so much. Well, more surprised that the ones who are against it care so much. Its fun to talk to other cd'ing mamas and see which cd's work best for them, where they like to buy them, etc. But those who think they are just gross, an unnecessary burden, etc...umm why do they care? Are they the ones doing our wash? (If they're volunteering for that chore I wont make them do the diapers, promise! haha!) If not, why do they really care? Especially those people who do not know what cloth diapers are like today. They are not like they used to be when I was little or when our parents were babies. They are sooo much better and different now. Most of them are as easy as disposables as far as putting them on, and those that aren't as "easy" are still not difficult. They hold up very, very well and can be used for multiple children. Many of them have various sizes so that the very same diaper can be used for the same baby as they grow. Yes, it can be expensive to get started, but once you have your stash, you get to the point where you dont have to buy anymore (although just like baby clothes, even though we have *enough* I still buy cute ones!). Pretty soon no more diaper costs! How cool is that?!
Gone are the days where you had to use pins and rubber pants to cloth dipe...I've already picked out two Mickey fabrics and a Toy Story fabric for diaper covers. They really are so, so cute.
*And!* they have great re-sale value, so after we are done, we can sell them and make something back. All in exchange for some extra laundry and some adjustment as we get used to using them and finding out which ones work best for us. Hey, we did that (and continue to) with disposables (the adjusting part), so what's the difference?
I'm not a huge environmentalist. But if you think about how many diapers are thrown away each year and the fact that those diapers are sloooow to decompose...well, I don't really like that thought. So if I can help out in this small way, sign me up.
Many testify that it can also help with potty training. Disposables diapers today are so good at whisking away the moisture that babies don't really feel it. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But with cloth, the child feels the moisture more, usually doesnt like it, and can tell when they are urinating. As excited as I am to do the cloth diapers, I'll be super excited when Oliver is out of diapers completely!
And with our future babies, we can start with cloth at the beginning. :)
We co-sleep. I babywear. We don't spank. And now we cloth diaper. Are we "odd" enough for you yet? :) :) :)
I find it kind of funny that people actually care so much. Well, more surprised that the ones who are against it care so much. Its fun to talk to other cd'ing mamas and see which cd's work best for them, where they like to buy them, etc. But those who think they are just gross, an unnecessary burden, etc...umm why do they care? Are they the ones doing our wash? (If they're volunteering for that chore I wont make them do the diapers, promise! haha!) If not, why do they really care? Especially those people who do not know what cloth diapers are like today. They are not like they used to be when I was little or when our parents were babies. They are sooo much better and different now. Most of them are as easy as disposables as far as putting them on, and those that aren't as "easy" are still not difficult. They hold up very, very well and can be used for multiple children. Many of them have various sizes so that the very same diaper can be used for the same baby as they grow. Yes, it can be expensive to get started, but once you have your stash, you get to the point where you dont have to buy anymore (although just like baby clothes, even though we have *enough* I still buy cute ones!). Pretty soon no more diaper costs! How cool is that?!
Gone are the days where you had to use pins and rubber pants to cloth dipe...I've already picked out two Mickey fabrics and a Toy Story fabric for diaper covers. They really are so, so cute.
*And!* they have great re-sale value, so after we are done, we can sell them and make something back. All in exchange for some extra laundry and some adjustment as we get used to using them and finding out which ones work best for us. Hey, we did that (and continue to) with disposables (the adjusting part), so what's the difference?
I'm not a huge environmentalist. But if you think about how many diapers are thrown away each year and the fact that those diapers are sloooow to decompose...well, I don't really like that thought. So if I can help out in this small way, sign me up.
Many testify that it can also help with potty training. Disposables diapers today are so good at whisking away the moisture that babies don't really feel it. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But with cloth, the child feels the moisture more, usually doesnt like it, and can tell when they are urinating. As excited as I am to do the cloth diapers, I'll be super excited when Oliver is out of diapers completely!
And with our future babies, we can start with cloth at the beginning. :)
We co-sleep. I babywear. We don't spank. And now we cloth diaper. Are we "odd" enough for you yet? :) :) :)
Friday, July 2, 2010
Godly Convictions
Since we started attending non-denominational churches I have heard people talk about Godly convictions. God putting convictions on their heart. Etc etc etc.. And I never thought I knew what they were talking about.
Until today. Today it hit me that being a stay-at-home-mom is my Godly conviction.
This week has been awful. Oliver is just not himself. Taking him out of the house is a nightmare. Yesterday we went to Fort Wayne and we were barely in the cake store when he starts screaming and trying to hit me. Who is this child?! The workers at the cake store know us and they were even feeling sorry for me, I could tell. The beginning of the week was worse; I think he was teething. I took him to the chiropractor on Tuesday and things eased up a little. I didn't feel like I need to give him Tylenol to make it through the day now, lol. Some parts of the day are wonderful and others make me cry. Literally.
The toddler bed thing has been...interesting. Its soooo hard to get Oliver just to lay down and not kick everything. (Including my face.) But he finally settles down and sleeps about half the night there. Naptimes are a totally other experience. I think its bad because he can see everything (unlike at night) so all he wants to do is turn his pillow over and over, play with his blankets and stuffed animals...so every day this week we have started off trying to get him to lay in his bed and then me laying down with him. I'm just beside myself on how to help him. I feel like I'm at a roadblock. When I try to keep him from kicking me and everything else during his naps he just laughs. I know he obviously isnt laughing *at* me, but its just so frustrating. I don't know how to reach thru this to him.
Anyway, back to this Godly conviction. I never understood how moms could go back to work. well, not so much that. I never understood how moms could put their children in daycare especially, or at a baby-sitter, unless they were in a situation where they absolutely *had* to work...and I'm not talking about working so they can go on vacations, buy designer purses, etc. Sometimes it would be nice to interact with adults on a regular basis; to have real conversations; to feel like I was more than an extension of a 22-month-old.
Needless to say there are times when I don't enjoy being home all day, every day. Sometimes its hard for me to express how hard my days can be. Like no one gets it. Like even if someone was in my shoes for a few days, they wouldnt get it because they would know that their time was limited to dealing with the everyday struggles. My time seems to be never-ending.
But then Oliver gives me a kiss; I watch him as he sleeps...and I know that I am exactly where I need to be. No matter how many screaming fits I put up with in a day; no matter how many days I dont shower.
God has impressed it upon my heart that as a mother, I need to be home with my child. At times, that makes it hard for me to reach out at all, but then God seems to know that I need help and is able to push me along. Today Pastor Jeff called me just to see how I was doing. He told me that I *need* a break and it is not just a luxury. I told him its hard for me not to get in the mindset that he is my child, my responsibility and no one else's. He said something I'll never forget. He said, "No, its all of our responsibility. When you get to feeling like that, we want to be there to help you. We love you." He had to be able to tell I was crying after that, but thats ok. That was a wonderful call to get.
I always wondered, what if God put a calling on my heart that I really didn't want to follow? That I didn't think was for me? Would I be able to follow it? I can now say YES.
I never thought I'd be a stay-at-home-mom. I was (and still am) proud of my honors degree in history. I had ever intention to get my PhD and teach college. Sure, kids would come in the mix somewhere. A couple kids, probably..definitely no more than 3. Even when I was pregnant with Oliver, I thought I would be ok going to work after he was a few months old.
The minute he was placed in my arms after he was born, my entire life changed forever. I knew I never wanted to leave him. I had no doubt that I would be a stay-at-home-mom for a long, long time. And that Oliver would just be the first of many children we would have.
My parents are wonderful. I appreciate them now more than ever. But I was not raised in a house where God was part of everyday conversations. Church was a weekly event, for awhile, but I did not have faith. I had religion. I want Oliver to be raised with faith. And if I'm not home to do that, I don't know that it will be done. I want to know my children inside and out. I want to know how they react to situations and teach them that while they will answer to me and their daddy, they will also ultimately answer to the Lord. I want to build their character and not leave that job up to someone else.
This conviction is so strong that it feels outside of myself. I don't think it would have been something I would have chosen. (3 years ago I would not have thought this is where my life would be.) And yet now I wouldn't change a thing. I rely on God's grace and mercy to get me through the days where I cant see beyond the four walls I'm surrounded by.
So even when I think about how much easier our finances would be with a second income, or I wish that someone else had to deal with the meltdowns instead of me all day every day, I know that I'm not going anywhere.
Like I said, I'm exactly where I need to be.
Until today. Today it hit me that being a stay-at-home-mom is my Godly conviction.
This week has been awful. Oliver is just not himself. Taking him out of the house is a nightmare. Yesterday we went to Fort Wayne and we were barely in the cake store when he starts screaming and trying to hit me. Who is this child?! The workers at the cake store know us and they were even feeling sorry for me, I could tell. The beginning of the week was worse; I think he was teething. I took him to the chiropractor on Tuesday and things eased up a little. I didn't feel like I need to give him Tylenol to make it through the day now, lol. Some parts of the day are wonderful and others make me cry. Literally.
The toddler bed thing has been...interesting. Its soooo hard to get Oliver just to lay down and not kick everything. (Including my face.) But he finally settles down and sleeps about half the night there. Naptimes are a totally other experience. I think its bad because he can see everything (unlike at night) so all he wants to do is turn his pillow over and over, play with his blankets and stuffed animals...so every day this week we have started off trying to get him to lay in his bed and then me laying down with him. I'm just beside myself on how to help him. I feel like I'm at a roadblock. When I try to keep him from kicking me and everything else during his naps he just laughs. I know he obviously isnt laughing *at* me, but its just so frustrating. I don't know how to reach thru this to him.
Anyway, back to this Godly conviction. I never understood how moms could go back to work. well, not so much that. I never understood how moms could put their children in daycare especially, or at a baby-sitter, unless they were in a situation where they absolutely *had* to work...and I'm not talking about working so they can go on vacations, buy designer purses, etc. Sometimes it would be nice to interact with adults on a regular basis; to have real conversations; to feel like I was more than an extension of a 22-month-old.
Needless to say there are times when I don't enjoy being home all day, every day. Sometimes its hard for me to express how hard my days can be. Like no one gets it. Like even if someone was in my shoes for a few days, they wouldnt get it because they would know that their time was limited to dealing with the everyday struggles. My time seems to be never-ending.
But then Oliver gives me a kiss; I watch him as he sleeps...and I know that I am exactly where I need to be. No matter how many screaming fits I put up with in a day; no matter how many days I dont shower.
God has impressed it upon my heart that as a mother, I need to be home with my child. At times, that makes it hard for me to reach out at all, but then God seems to know that I need help and is able to push me along. Today Pastor Jeff called me just to see how I was doing. He told me that I *need* a break and it is not just a luxury. I told him its hard for me not to get in the mindset that he is my child, my responsibility and no one else's. He said something I'll never forget. He said, "No, its all of our responsibility. When you get to feeling like that, we want to be there to help you. We love you." He had to be able to tell I was crying after that, but thats ok. That was a wonderful call to get.
I always wondered, what if God put a calling on my heart that I really didn't want to follow? That I didn't think was for me? Would I be able to follow it? I can now say YES.
I never thought I'd be a stay-at-home-mom. I was (and still am) proud of my honors degree in history. I had ever intention to get my PhD and teach college. Sure, kids would come in the mix somewhere. A couple kids, probably..definitely no more than 3. Even when I was pregnant with Oliver, I thought I would be ok going to work after he was a few months old.
The minute he was placed in my arms after he was born, my entire life changed forever. I knew I never wanted to leave him. I had no doubt that I would be a stay-at-home-mom for a long, long time. And that Oliver would just be the first of many children we would have.
My parents are wonderful. I appreciate them now more than ever. But I was not raised in a house where God was part of everyday conversations. Church was a weekly event, for awhile, but I did not have faith. I had religion. I want Oliver to be raised with faith. And if I'm not home to do that, I don't know that it will be done. I want to know my children inside and out. I want to know how they react to situations and teach them that while they will answer to me and their daddy, they will also ultimately answer to the Lord. I want to build their character and not leave that job up to someone else.
This conviction is so strong that it feels outside of myself. I don't think it would have been something I would have chosen. (3 years ago I would not have thought this is where my life would be.) And yet now I wouldn't change a thing. I rely on God's grace and mercy to get me through the days where I cant see beyond the four walls I'm surrounded by.
So even when I think about how much easier our finances would be with a second income, or I wish that someone else had to deal with the meltdowns instead of me all day every day, I know that I'm not going anywhere.
Like I said, I'm exactly where I need to be.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I'm Back!
Well, I made it back yesterday after being gone all weekend. It was so fun to spend the weekend with my cousin, Vicky. She's about 10 years older than me, and I've always looked up to her and loved her to death. But until we both had kids we didnt have a whole lot in common. Now we talk all the time and its been so fun getting to know her better. I got there Thursday night and we got one of the cakes baked and cooled. The next day we got the rest of the cakes baked, cooled, and filled. We got some of the cookies done too. Then Saturday we spent allllll day decorating cakes, finishing up cookies, and wondering what in the world we had gotten ourselves into. LOL I didnt get good pics of the cakes so as soon as Vicky sends them to me I'll post some. Her little guy Alex is such a cutie. He's sooo happy! It was so funny to see Oliver as the "big boy" with a little one following him around. Oliver is the youngest cousin on both sides of our family so this was a definite change. It was a very tiring weekend, though, and I'm glad to be home.
When we got home yesterday Jay had a surprise for us. He bought Oliver a toddler bed to put in our room. :-D yay!! We can convert his crib into a toddler bed, but since Oliver has slept with us since he was 8 days old, I'm not exactly counting on putting him in his own room anytime too soon. I'd been wanting a bed for him in our room so I was thrilled to see it. Oliver seemed to think it was pretty cool to have his own little bed. It took some soothing to get him to sleep but he finally fell asleep in there last night and slept about 5 hours before waking up! He woke up around 3 a.m. so I just brought him back into bed with us. I'm not worried about pushing him into sleeping by himself. We have dedicated nearly 2 years to night time parenting, so I'm not going to throw all that out by pushing him to sleep by himself before he's ready. Here's a picture we got after he fell asleep. How cute is this?!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Its 10 a.m.
And I think our a/c is working again. I was able to mess with the breakers and I think its going to be ok. Last night we were in the middle of a bad storm and the lights flickered a couple of times so I'm sure thats when it went off. Is that normal? Every time the electricity flickers when the A/C is running, the A/C shuts off. I dont remember that ever happening when I was growing up, but maybe it did and I wasnt aware of it.
So at least it wasnt a big deal like last time, but seriously. I'm just tired of all this.
So at least it wasnt a big deal like last time, but seriously. I'm just tired of all this.
Its 2 in the morning...
...and as I'm getting things around to leave tomorrow I realize I'm feeling really hot. Maybe it was just from doing dishes. So i sit down at the laptop for awhile and nope, getting hotter.
OUR F-ING AIR CONDITIONER ISN'T WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you kidding me!? I searched HUD online and found a bill that states the landlord's responsibilities and one of them is, in fact, maintaning air conditioning when it is on the premise. I'm very tempted to take that in and threaten to seek a lawyer. I'm hoping just the threat would get to them, cos who am I kidding--we cant afford a lawyer. But this is beyond ridiculous.
Now I'm angry. so much for hoping to go to bed now.
OUR F-ING AIR CONDITIONER ISN'T WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you kidding me!? I searched HUD online and found a bill that states the landlord's responsibilities and one of them is, in fact, maintaning air conditioning when it is on the premise. I'm very tempted to take that in and threaten to seek a lawyer. I'm hoping just the threat would get to them, cos who am I kidding--we cant afford a lawyer. But this is beyond ridiculous.
Now I'm angry. so much for hoping to go to bed now.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Taking a little trip :)
Oliver and I are taking a little trip to Indy tomorrow and staying through Sunday or maybe Monday morning. My cousin, Vicky, is having a birthday party for her son's 1st birthday this weekend and we are going to make his cake and cookies. Vicky likes to do that kind of thing, but doesnt have time thus doesnt have the supplies. So I'm getting ready to pretty much pack up my kitchen and we're headed down there tomorrow.
Before we leave, Jay is going to take Oliver to see Toy Story 3. yes, he is braving the movie theater with an almost 22 month old. I truly hope it goes well, Jay is so excited about it. But I am soooo not going...not only is it a father-son trip, I'm just not that brave. I can barely handle a meal at a restaurant some days with him! I love my son dearly, but I am staying home from this outing! :)
So I'm not sure when I'll update again, but I'll be sure to post pics of the birthday party and cake after the weekend is over!
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Before we leave, Jay is going to take Oliver to see Toy Story 3. yes, he is braving the movie theater with an almost 22 month old. I truly hope it goes well, Jay is so excited about it. But I am soooo not going...not only is it a father-son trip, I'm just not that brave. I can barely handle a meal at a restaurant some days with him! I love my son dearly, but I am staying home from this outing! :)
So I'm not sure when I'll update again, but I'll be sure to post pics of the birthday party and cake after the weekend is over!
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Oh great.
I just googled Dr. Dobson and found him on Wikipedia. Now, I usually blow off Wikipedia after the disgust that my professors always had for it. But I thought I'd see what it had to say.
They had a short section on what his views are on discipline. He agrees with spanking--so remind me to never buy his book on Discipline.
but get this quote that Wikipedia showed. It was about whether there should be a limit on how long a child should cry after being punished:
Yes, I believe there should be a limit. As long as the tears represent a genuine release of emotion, they should be permitted to fall. But crying quickly changes from inner sobbing to an expression of protest... Real crying usually lasts two minutes or less but may continue for five. After that point, the child is merely complaining, and the change can be recognized in the tone and intensity of his voice. I would require him to stop the protest crying, usually by offering him a little more of whatever caused the original tears. (emphasis added)
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!
You're going to "give him a little more" of what caused the tears in the first place to make him stop crying?!
I'm not sure I should even read this other book. That is just an idiotic statement. I'm just sitting here shaking my head.
Oh, another head-shaker. This evening on fb a girl I went to school with had it on her status that her baby was eating some kind of solid food (peaches, maybe?) He is...get this...5 weeks old!!!!!!! He's already been on rice cereal "and is doing well."
I wasn't the first person to comment on. I didnt say much, just that dont get frustrated if he seems to spit out a lot of it since babies under 6 mos have a strong tongue thrust reflex. I didnt say what I was thinking "Are you stupid? You're giving your 5 wk old baby solids? Who the heck told you that was the right thing to do? "
but I didnt have to ask. Someone else made a comment about how it wasnt smart to do that and she replied "My mom was giving us this stuff when we were this age and we all did well.." and some other weird comment.
The whole "doing it cos thats how my parents did it" irritates me. Just like the spanking thing. How about people think for themselves with raising their kids instead of relying on what may (or may not!) have been the norm 20+ years ago.
and I thought tonight was going to be a vent-free blogging night.
They had a short section on what his views are on discipline. He agrees with spanking--so remind me to never buy his book on Discipline.
but get this quote that Wikipedia showed. It was about whether there should be a limit on how long a child should cry after being punished:
Yes, I believe there should be a limit. As long as the tears represent a genuine release of emotion, they should be permitted to fall. But crying quickly changes from inner sobbing to an expression of protest... Real crying usually lasts two minutes or less but may continue for five. After that point, the child is merely complaining, and the change can be recognized in the tone and intensity of his voice. I would require him to stop the protest crying, usually by offering him a little more of whatever caused the original tears. (emphasis added)
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!
You're going to "give him a little more" of what caused the tears in the first place to make him stop crying?!
I'm not sure I should even read this other book. That is just an idiotic statement. I'm just sitting here shaking my head.
Oh, another head-shaker. This evening on fb a girl I went to school with had it on her status that her baby was eating some kind of solid food (peaches, maybe?) He is...get this...5 weeks old!!!!!!! He's already been on rice cereal "and is doing well."
I wasn't the first person to comment on. I didnt say much, just that dont get frustrated if he seems to spit out a lot of it since babies under 6 mos have a strong tongue thrust reflex. I didnt say what I was thinking "Are you stupid? You're giving your 5 wk old baby solids? Who the heck told you that was the right thing to do? "
but I didnt have to ask. Someone else made a comment about how it wasnt smart to do that and she replied "My mom was giving us this stuff when we were this age and we all did well.." and some other weird comment.
The whole "doing it cos thats how my parents did it" irritates me. Just like the spanking thing. How about people think for themselves with raising their kids instead of relying on what may (or may not!) have been the norm 20+ years ago.
and I thought tonight was going to be a vent-free blogging night.
Dr. Dobson
I really don't have much to post tonight. We have air conditioning and it felt glorious last night. Better than before it went out, actually. They told Jay last night they were going to come this morning to check to make sure it was working. Of course they didnt, but whatever.
I went to look for a Karen Kingsbury book today and found Raising Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson. I don't know much about him other than having heard his name before. Anyone know much about this guy? I bought the book. I feel like every day I am left exasperated at one time or another with Oliver. That's probably just living with a toddler. But if this book gives me even a glimmer of something new with how to handle a boy, I'm all for it. I can't relive another dr. appt like last week. (I'll post about that later.)
Have a great night everybody. :)
I went to look for a Karen Kingsbury book today and found Raising Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson. I don't know much about him other than having heard his name before. Anyone know much about this guy? I bought the book. I feel like every day I am left exasperated at one time or another with Oliver. That's probably just living with a toddler. But if this book gives me even a glimmer of something new with how to handle a boy, I'm all for it. I can't relive another dr. appt like last week. (I'll post about that later.)
Have a great night everybody. :)
Ahhh, air conditioning.
So when Jay stopped by after work, the a/c STILL wasnt on. Jay got so mad and went to the office and what does the mgr say? "Well what do you think people did before air conditioning?"
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!
I think I would've flipped out at this point. I used to curse, a lot. But I really don't anymore. However, this may have brought out some colorful language had I heard this.
Do you really want to argue such an irrelevant point? We are PAYING for an apt that has AIR CONDITIONING AND MAINTENANCE!!!!! WE ARE RECEIVING NEITHER!!!!!
What did people do before hot water heaters? Yet I expect that to be fixed. (Even if they dont think it shoudl be.) And you better believe if we have our furnace go out in the winter I will not stand for being without heat for 4 days. What did people do before furnaces? What an idiotic, stupid freaking comment.
Jay went back over at 4:30, cos she said they would be there by 5:00. That made me angry, cos I called at 9:00 and they werent going to come til 5:00?! What the heck?!?!
So when he went back, of course they werent there yet, so he went straight to the office. The office lady says "Oh, let me call them to get them over there." She hadnt even called them to tell them to come!! At all!!!!!
So they finally came around 5:00 and got it fixed about an hour later. When we came home at 10:00 it felt better. Still warm upstairs but not anything like yesterday.
As Jay was leaving the office the last time today, he heard them say something about waiting til tomorrow to fix it. I don't know what was said, exactly, I need to ask him again. I would have FLIPPED OUT if they had waited.
So many people have told me to refuse to pay for the 4 days that we were not able to stay in our apt. But I don't know how we go about doing that. Just refuse to pay it? They can evict us if we dont pay by the 16th of the month. So how in the world do we do that?!?!
Our apt is HUD housing, so I'm going to look online and see if I can file a complaint with how they handled this. It was beyond ridiculous.
I'll need a thesaurus before I write a complaint though. I think "ridiculous" might loose its emphasis if I use it 418 times.
But for now, we have a/c. ahhhhhh.... :)
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!
I think I would've flipped out at this point. I used to curse, a lot. But I really don't anymore. However, this may have brought out some colorful language had I heard this.
Do you really want to argue such an irrelevant point? We are PAYING for an apt that has AIR CONDITIONING AND MAINTENANCE!!!!! WE ARE RECEIVING NEITHER!!!!!
What did people do before hot water heaters? Yet I expect that to be fixed. (Even if they dont think it shoudl be.) And you better believe if we have our furnace go out in the winter I will not stand for being without heat for 4 days. What did people do before furnaces? What an idiotic, stupid freaking comment.
Jay went back over at 4:30, cos she said they would be there by 5:00. That made me angry, cos I called at 9:00 and they werent going to come til 5:00?! What the heck?!?!
So when he went back, of course they werent there yet, so he went straight to the office. The office lady says "Oh, let me call them to get them over there." She hadnt even called them to tell them to come!! At all!!!!!
So they finally came around 5:00 and got it fixed about an hour later. When we came home at 10:00 it felt better. Still warm upstairs but not anything like yesterday.
As Jay was leaving the office the last time today, he heard them say something about waiting til tomorrow to fix it. I don't know what was said, exactly, I need to ask him again. I would have FLIPPED OUT if they had waited.
So many people have told me to refuse to pay for the 4 days that we were not able to stay in our apt. But I don't know how we go about doing that. Just refuse to pay it? They can evict us if we dont pay by the 16th of the month. So how in the world do we do that?!?!
Our apt is HUD housing, so I'm going to look online and see if I can file a complaint with how they handled this. It was beyond ridiculous.
I'll need a thesaurus before I write a complaint though. I think "ridiculous" might loose its emphasis if I use it 418 times.
But for now, we have a/c. ahhhhhh.... :)
Monday, June 21, 2010
We might have A/C!!!
Quick update before dinner at the ILs...
I called this morning a little after 9:00 to see what was going on. Since they claimed to have "so many people with this same problem" I simply asked where we were on their list of people to help. She fumbled around, finally saying there was no list but there really weren't that many people who needed theirs fixed so we should be helped today. I very politely but firmly told her that we had not been able to be home since Friday, and she interrupted and said "oh my gosh! Ok, we'll make sure to get them over there today. What was the problem again?"
(I wanted to throw my phone against the wall.)
More to update later, but Oliver has apparently had enough of my attention being directed at the computer instead of HIM...but it looks like it was fixed around 6:00ish. (awesome.) We'll see later when we go back if it really worked or not.
I called this morning a little after 9:00 to see what was going on. Since they claimed to have "so many people with this same problem" I simply asked where we were on their list of people to help. She fumbled around, finally saying there was no list but there really weren't that many people who needed theirs fixed so we should be helped today. I very politely but firmly told her that we had not been able to be home since Friday, and she interrupted and said "oh my gosh! Ok, we'll make sure to get them over there today. What was the problem again?"
(I wanted to throw my phone against the wall.)
More to update later, but Oliver has apparently had enough of my attention being directed at the computer instead of HIM...but it looks like it was fixed around 6:00ish. (awesome.) We'll see later when we go back if it really worked or not.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Rant
Taking a break from parenting issues, I need to rant. And since this is *my* blog, I will do so.
I HATE OUR APT!!!!!!!!!!!
(deep breath.)
So I know I've said I hate it for the lack of space, which is a never-ending problem. We aren't going to suddenly have less stuff (no matter how much I feel like we purge, or store, or whatever, we just have too much stuff.) so we are going to be cramped. But here's what really stinks: our "maintenance service."
Ha! Maintenance service. Ahhh, that is amusing. Or maybe what's more amusing are the office staff that act like they give a crap about you when you talk to them.
I could go on and on about things that need fixed at our place that haven't been. Most of them are minor, like the light above our sink that hasn't worked since Oliver was born. I can live without that light. But what about the hot water heater that is sure to go out anytime? In October we went 5 days without hot water. It went out on Thursday, I think, because I remember we got up early that morning and went to my mom's. We didn't take showers or anything til we got to her house, and I remember using cold water that morning to wash my face. I was tired and didnt really think anything of it. I don't know if I even tried the hot water, to be honest. But I know Wed. night we had had hot water. Anyway...we got back late Saturday to no hot water. They do not consider this "emergency worthy" so there was no need to call maintenance. The last time we called maintenance with a "non-emergency" Jay ended up cursing the maintenance man. Big surprise that nothing gets fixed here! Where was I? Oh yes, no hot water. So I called first thing Monday. By 3:00 they had still not come and I knew they would be out of there by 5:00 at the latest. So I called and said I needed hot water, like, 4 days ago, but would prefer it NOW. So they came about 4:15. Did something to the heater, said that the company (whoever that is) said they had to try this before doing anything else. He said it would be at least half an hour before we could tell if it worked, and he doubted it would. (Gee, thanks. Jerk.) Sure enough, it didn't. But where were they at 4:45? Nowhere to be found. Another night with no hot water. Tuesday, they "fixed" it. Sure, as long as I take a shower (with Oliver, no less) in less than 7 minutes. Get to that 7 minute mark and you're talking icicles, baby.
I need to call and tell them that our tub faucet is leaking. More like streaming water, but hey, no need to get into semantics. Here's why I *do not* want to call them. If you are not home or do not answer the door, they come in anyway. So while I am there by myself with Oliver all day, what happens when they come just as I'm getting out of the shower and cant hear them knocking? They'll come in anyway, and good gravy, will hopefully at least knock before they'd come in the bathroom. But I'm not counting on that. Either way, how awkward...me answering in, what, a towel? No thank you. Believe it or not, I have modesty standards. None of which include a wet towel wrapped around me.
Pshewwwww...and I haven't even gotten to my *real* rant yet!!!!
(smooths down hair...ok, ready.)
Thursday night I was getting ready to go to bed and the lights flickered for half a second and I heard our A/C click on and off when that happened. It was seriously less than half a second...our laptops battery is shot and only works with the plug-in, so if we had lost power for any amount of time, the computer would've died. Since it didn't, and everything came back on normally, I didn't think much of it.
Fast forward about 7 hours. 6:00 a.m. and Oliver wakes up, hot and sweaty and thirsty. Our room gets hot at night, sometimes, so I didn't think much about it until I opened our door, and it was just as hot outside our room as inside. Great. They had shown me how to do something with the breakers which sometimes helps "kick start" the AC again. They said if the AC turns on the same time as something else it can overload or whatever. (My eyes glaze over when they start to talk about anything like that.) So I did that, and went back to bed. Oliver fell asleep again around 7ish, and so did I. At 9:00ish we both woke up and it was still HOT. So I tried the breaker thing one more time, giving it more time before I flipped it back on. Still nothing. The compressor-thing outside was running, and it was running inside, but there was no air what-so-ever blowing out of the vents.
So by 9:30 I called the office. Here's basically how our convo went:
Me: "Hi, our air conditioner isn't working."
Office Lady: "Ok, is it not running, or blowing out hot air, or what? Tell me more about whats going on."
Me: "Ok, well I tried the fuse thing that I was told about before-"
Lady: "-Oh yes! The breaker! That didn't do it?"
(How badly I wanted to say, "Actually it did! I just called cos I have nothing better to do!")
Me: " No, it didn't. I've tried it twice since 6 a.m. with no luck. The outside is running, the inside is running, but there's no air what-so-ever blowing out."
Lady: "So no air at all?"
Me: "No. It thinks its working, cos its running, but its not."
Lady: "Ahh hahaha! Thinks its working! I like that"
(Me thinking: "I don't.")
Lady: "Ok, well, I'll write this up and send them over to look at it."
Me: "Ok, thanks so much!"
Around 10:30 I decide to take Oliver out for the day because I knew they wouldn't rush over. We went to the library then went swimming at Jay's parents house. I decided to give him a nap there since it was cooler there, obviously. When Jay got off work a little after 2 he said he would go by the apt and see if it was on.
Ready for this? I know you'll be shocked... They hadn't even been there yet!!!!
I know, I wasn't really that surprised either. But I wasn't happy. Jay got really mad and called and told them how ridiculous this was, that we have one of the oldest compressors and if you look at all the other apts around us they have new a/c units outside and ours is old as dirt. That this has happened at least 3 times just this year since we first turned it on sometime in April. This happens several times every year. We have lived there 2 years, longer than a lot of these people who are in and out in a few months time (whether its by their choice or they're kicked out all depends on the people, lol. We live by some *really awesome* people.). We pay our rent, we don't give them trouble, what else are we supposed to do?
So here's what Office Lady says: "Well, we had a lot of people call in today with the same problem, so our guys have been soooo busy."
Really? Cos when I called she didn't say anything about that. And if they called after me, sorry, get in line. How did WE get pushed to the bottom of the pile?!
Jay says something about how well maybe if you're that busy, you should hire, you know, REAL maintenance people who actually know how to fix air conditioners. She says something about how they are just hiring some more people and Jay's like no, I mean outside help, people that know how to fix air conditioners and do it on a regular basis. Not Handy Manny that you picked up off the street.
(Ok, maybe he left out the Handy Manny part. But I think it would've been appropriate.)
Office Lady again says well, we are just getting to hiring more people....I think Jay wanted to bang his head on the wall at this point. He says they need to get ours fixed NOW and it was beyond ridiculous that they hadn't been there yet. He said he expected it to be fixed today. (Friday) She said they were working "late" because of all the calls and another lady in the background yells "they're working tomorrow too!" Great. Oh, and Jay was also told that they are getting 4 new a/c units this next week but they aren't sure who they are going to. If we do not get one of those units, they are going to have some angry people storming their office. We were told this the last 2 summers we have been there and have yet to see one. Its about darn time.
So Friday night we spent at the ILs. There was no way Oliver could sleep in that heat. It was in the 90s and stayed that way all weekend. If it was just us, fine, we'd suck it up. But when you have an almost-2-year-old? No thank you.
We went back twice Saturday and it still was never fixed.
How many freaking people could have called that they weren't able to fix it Friday *or* Saturday??!?!
I think they hate us. I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure they do. Maybe they read my blog. LOL
So we've been at Jay's parents house since Friday. Its now Sunday night, almost 11 p.m., and I'm going to head to bed. I'm calling in the morning, and praying that God gives me the words. I stink at being mean. I wish I could be, but I always get nervous and upset. Especially when people act like they're being nice to me.
At least I'm that way for awhile. Ask me again in 24 hours if we still aren't home.
Some people may think we are being petty. So many people live without air conditioning. Our neighbors never turn theirs on. But here's the thing: We would not have chosen to live there if we could not have at least had the *option* of turning on our a/c. I have terrible allergies that make it miserable for me to have the windows open. (which wasn't a bad thing freshman year at bsu when I got a dr's note saying I needed an a/c in our dorm room. score!) I went back there tonight to get a few things and the thermostat that is always at least 5 degrees off (lower than it should be) read 80. So it was at least 85 downstairs. Upstairs was way worse. There has not been a breeze, either, so even if we were to open our windows, it would not have helped.
But again. We are paying for an apt (ok, ok, technically its a "townhouse." whatever) that is supposed to have air conditioning AND maintenance service. We are receiving neither and thus have been out of our home for over 48 hours now. Excuse me if I'm a little bitter.
Pshew. I feel better now. At least I think I do. Or else I've just gotten myself even more riled up.
God tells us to rejoice, always. I'm trying Lord, I really am.
But darn it I can't stand those maintenance people...
I HATE OUR APT!!!!!!!!!!!
(deep breath.)
So I know I've said I hate it for the lack of space, which is a never-ending problem. We aren't going to suddenly have less stuff (no matter how much I feel like we purge, or store, or whatever, we just have too much stuff.) so we are going to be cramped. But here's what really stinks: our "maintenance service."
Ha! Maintenance service. Ahhh, that is amusing. Or maybe what's more amusing are the office staff that act like they give a crap about you when you talk to them.
I could go on and on about things that need fixed at our place that haven't been. Most of them are minor, like the light above our sink that hasn't worked since Oliver was born. I can live without that light. But what about the hot water heater that is sure to go out anytime? In October we went 5 days without hot water. It went out on Thursday, I think, because I remember we got up early that morning and went to my mom's. We didn't take showers or anything til we got to her house, and I remember using cold water that morning to wash my face. I was tired and didnt really think anything of it. I don't know if I even tried the hot water, to be honest. But I know Wed. night we had had hot water. Anyway...we got back late Saturday to no hot water. They do not consider this "emergency worthy" so there was no need to call maintenance. The last time we called maintenance with a "non-emergency" Jay ended up cursing the maintenance man. Big surprise that nothing gets fixed here! Where was I? Oh yes, no hot water. So I called first thing Monday. By 3:00 they had still not come and I knew they would be out of there by 5:00 at the latest. So I called and said I needed hot water, like, 4 days ago, but would prefer it NOW. So they came about 4:15. Did something to the heater, said that the company (whoever that is) said they had to try this before doing anything else. He said it would be at least half an hour before we could tell if it worked, and he doubted it would. (Gee, thanks. Jerk.) Sure enough, it didn't. But where were they at 4:45? Nowhere to be found. Another night with no hot water. Tuesday, they "fixed" it. Sure, as long as I take a shower (with Oliver, no less) in less than 7 minutes. Get to that 7 minute mark and you're talking icicles, baby.
I need to call and tell them that our tub faucet is leaking. More like streaming water, but hey, no need to get into semantics. Here's why I *do not* want to call them. If you are not home or do not answer the door, they come in anyway. So while I am there by myself with Oliver all day, what happens when they come just as I'm getting out of the shower and cant hear them knocking? They'll come in anyway, and good gravy, will hopefully at least knock before they'd come in the bathroom. But I'm not counting on that. Either way, how awkward...me answering in, what, a towel? No thank you. Believe it or not, I have modesty standards. None of which include a wet towel wrapped around me.
Pshewwwww...and I haven't even gotten to my *real* rant yet!!!!
(smooths down hair...ok, ready.)
Thursday night I was getting ready to go to bed and the lights flickered for half a second and I heard our A/C click on and off when that happened. It was seriously less than half a second...our laptops battery is shot and only works with the plug-in, so if we had lost power for any amount of time, the computer would've died. Since it didn't, and everything came back on normally, I didn't think much of it.
Fast forward about 7 hours. 6:00 a.m. and Oliver wakes up, hot and sweaty and thirsty. Our room gets hot at night, sometimes, so I didn't think much about it until I opened our door, and it was just as hot outside our room as inside. Great. They had shown me how to do something with the breakers which sometimes helps "kick start" the AC again. They said if the AC turns on the same time as something else it can overload or whatever. (My eyes glaze over when they start to talk about anything like that.) So I did that, and went back to bed. Oliver fell asleep again around 7ish, and so did I. At 9:00ish we both woke up and it was still HOT. So I tried the breaker thing one more time, giving it more time before I flipped it back on. Still nothing. The compressor-thing outside was running, and it was running inside, but there was no air what-so-ever blowing out of the vents.
So by 9:30 I called the office. Here's basically how our convo went:
Me: "Hi, our air conditioner isn't working."
Office Lady: "Ok, is it not running, or blowing out hot air, or what? Tell me more about whats going on."
Me: "Ok, well I tried the fuse thing that I was told about before-"
Lady: "-Oh yes! The breaker! That didn't do it?"
(How badly I wanted to say, "Actually it did! I just called cos I have nothing better to do!")
Me: " No, it didn't. I've tried it twice since 6 a.m. with no luck. The outside is running, the inside is running, but there's no air what-so-ever blowing out."
Lady: "So no air at all?"
Me: "No. It thinks its working, cos its running, but its not."
Lady: "Ahh hahaha! Thinks its working! I like that"
(Me thinking: "I don't.")
Lady: "Ok, well, I'll write this up and send them over to look at it."
Me: "Ok, thanks so much!"
Around 10:30 I decide to take Oliver out for the day because I knew they wouldn't rush over. We went to the library then went swimming at Jay's parents house. I decided to give him a nap there since it was cooler there, obviously. When Jay got off work a little after 2 he said he would go by the apt and see if it was on.
Ready for this? I know you'll be shocked... They hadn't even been there yet!!!!
I know, I wasn't really that surprised either. But I wasn't happy. Jay got really mad and called and told them how ridiculous this was, that we have one of the oldest compressors and if you look at all the other apts around us they have new a/c units outside and ours is old as dirt. That this has happened at least 3 times just this year since we first turned it on sometime in April. This happens several times every year. We have lived there 2 years, longer than a lot of these people who are in and out in a few months time (whether its by their choice or they're kicked out all depends on the people, lol. We live by some *really awesome* people.). We pay our rent, we don't give them trouble, what else are we supposed to do?
So here's what Office Lady says: "Well, we had a lot of people call in today with the same problem, so our guys have been soooo busy."
Really? Cos when I called she didn't say anything about that. And if they called after me, sorry, get in line. How did WE get pushed to the bottom of the pile?!
Jay says something about how well maybe if you're that busy, you should hire, you know, REAL maintenance people who actually know how to fix air conditioners. She says something about how they are just hiring some more people and Jay's like no, I mean outside help, people that know how to fix air conditioners and do it on a regular basis. Not Handy Manny that you picked up off the street.
(Ok, maybe he left out the Handy Manny part. But I think it would've been appropriate.)
Office Lady again says well, we are just getting to hiring more people....I think Jay wanted to bang his head on the wall at this point. He says they need to get ours fixed NOW and it was beyond ridiculous that they hadn't been there yet. He said he expected it to be fixed today. (Friday) She said they were working "late" because of all the calls and another lady in the background yells "they're working tomorrow too!" Great. Oh, and Jay was also told that they are getting 4 new a/c units this next week but they aren't sure who they are going to. If we do not get one of those units, they are going to have some angry people storming their office. We were told this the last 2 summers we have been there and have yet to see one. Its about darn time.
So Friday night we spent at the ILs. There was no way Oliver could sleep in that heat. It was in the 90s and stayed that way all weekend. If it was just us, fine, we'd suck it up. But when you have an almost-2-year-old? No thank you.
We went back twice Saturday and it still was never fixed.
How many freaking people could have called that they weren't able to fix it Friday *or* Saturday??!?!
I think they hate us. I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure they do. Maybe they read my blog. LOL
So we've been at Jay's parents house since Friday. Its now Sunday night, almost 11 p.m., and I'm going to head to bed. I'm calling in the morning, and praying that God gives me the words. I stink at being mean. I wish I could be, but I always get nervous and upset. Especially when people act like they're being nice to me.
At least I'm that way for awhile. Ask me again in 24 hours if we still aren't home.
Some people may think we are being petty. So many people live without air conditioning. Our neighbors never turn theirs on. But here's the thing: We would not have chosen to live there if we could not have at least had the *option* of turning on our a/c. I have terrible allergies that make it miserable for me to have the windows open. (which wasn't a bad thing freshman year at bsu when I got a dr's note saying I needed an a/c in our dorm room. score!) I went back there tonight to get a few things and the thermostat that is always at least 5 degrees off (lower than it should be) read 80. So it was at least 85 downstairs. Upstairs was way worse. There has not been a breeze, either, so even if we were to open our windows, it would not have helped.
But again. We are paying for an apt (ok, ok, technically its a "townhouse." whatever) that is supposed to have air conditioning AND maintenance service. We are receiving neither and thus have been out of our home for over 48 hours now. Excuse me if I'm a little bitter.
Pshew. I feel better now. At least I think I do. Or else I've just gotten myself even more riled up.
God tells us to rejoice, always. I'm trying Lord, I really am.
But darn it I can't stand those maintenance people...
Friday, June 18, 2010
I'm a Mom, and I Need Help.
I signed onto blogger this morning and scrolled through my updates. I love seeing who has a new post and there are some that I really look forward to. That happened this morning, and I clicked to read a post about how mothers need help.
Then tonight I had a discussion with another friend who stays at home and how quickly and how often burnout happens.
Obviously there's a trend here. Moms who love their children dearly and agree that staying at home has a lot of benefits are just plain TIRED.
We get to stay home, but that doesn't mean we just sit around the house all day. Just because we don't have to get up at a certain time to get out the door doesn't mean that we don't have an alarm clock--often a human one that goes off randomly during the night as well. There's no one there to tell us to take a lunch break. I dont remember the last time I went to the bathroom without my little guy in tow.
I definitely think that attachment parenting is the way to parent, but its taxing at times. I will *not* leave my child to cry by himself. He sleeps in our bed, so even during the night, he is right there with us. Most days I'm so tired that I nap with him during his naptime. So unless I get out of the house in the evening, or try to get upstairs to do something at night while Oliver stays downstairs with Daddy, he is attached to me nearly 24/7.
It does not help that our society puts pressure on moms to be perfect, and to not ask for help. I'm very guilty of taking on that role. I feel as though Oliver is *my* child, therefore, he is my responsibility and no one else's. I rarely ever leave him with someone other than Jay. Especially when Jay worked second shift until Oliver was 8 months old, I took my little guy EVERYWHERE with me. This was when baby-wearing was my best friend!
Our society is also one that does not put much value, it seems, on extended families. I'm not saying that I would want to live with all of my family together in one house (sorry, I love you guys, but I need some space!) but I do think there are benefits to that for those who are used to that in society. It would be so much easier for a mom not to feel burned out when there would be other women in the home to help. And to not have that mom guilt of not doing it all.
I look forward to someday having grandchildren and I hope that my future daughters-in-law or daughters let me help them. Bring them meals. Take the older children for a few hours. Run to the store for diapers or milk. Or just take the child(ren) and let her do whatever.she.wants.to.do. No guilt attached. Moms need to get refueled. It not only helps them but helps their children to have a mom that feels better.
There are days when I crave face-to-face interaction with another human being. Or even just a phone call so I can talk to someone who can speak back in whole sentences. And while there are times where the thought of working outside the home is inviting, I just can't bring myself to want that for our family. The thought of Oliver spending more of his waking hours with someone else breaks my heart. I know my child inside and out. Sometimes I don't know where I stop and he begins! I want to be able to raise him with *our* family values, beliefs, morals. Not someone else's. I want to know what he struggles with and be able to help him. Not find out from a baby-sitter at the end of the day. That just isn't for me.
Who knows? Maybe I'll homeschool.
But regardless of these convictions, there are times when as a mother I need help. And I'm just starting to be able to say that. It feels like a weakness, something I try to avoid.
Some say it takes a village to raise a child...I say it takes a village to keep a mother sane!
Then tonight I had a discussion with another friend who stays at home and how quickly and how often burnout happens.
Obviously there's a trend here. Moms who love their children dearly and agree that staying at home has a lot of benefits are just plain TIRED.
We get to stay home, but that doesn't mean we just sit around the house all day. Just because we don't have to get up at a certain time to get out the door doesn't mean that we don't have an alarm clock--often a human one that goes off randomly during the night as well. There's no one there to tell us to take a lunch break. I dont remember the last time I went to the bathroom without my little guy in tow.
I definitely think that attachment parenting is the way to parent, but its taxing at times. I will *not* leave my child to cry by himself. He sleeps in our bed, so even during the night, he is right there with us. Most days I'm so tired that I nap with him during his naptime. So unless I get out of the house in the evening, or try to get upstairs to do something at night while Oliver stays downstairs with Daddy, he is attached to me nearly 24/7.
It does not help that our society puts pressure on moms to be perfect, and to not ask for help. I'm very guilty of taking on that role. I feel as though Oliver is *my* child, therefore, he is my responsibility and no one else's. I rarely ever leave him with someone other than Jay. Especially when Jay worked second shift until Oliver was 8 months old, I took my little guy EVERYWHERE with me. This was when baby-wearing was my best friend!
Our society is also one that does not put much value, it seems, on extended families. I'm not saying that I would want to live with all of my family together in one house (sorry, I love you guys, but I need some space!) but I do think there are benefits to that for those who are used to that in society. It would be so much easier for a mom not to feel burned out when there would be other women in the home to help. And to not have that mom guilt of not doing it all.
I look forward to someday having grandchildren and I hope that my future daughters-in-law or daughters let me help them. Bring them meals. Take the older children for a few hours. Run to the store for diapers or milk. Or just take the child(ren) and let her do whatever.she.wants.to.do. No guilt attached. Moms need to get refueled. It not only helps them but helps their children to have a mom that feels better.
There are days when I crave face-to-face interaction with another human being. Or even just a phone call so I can talk to someone who can speak back in whole sentences. And while there are times where the thought of working outside the home is inviting, I just can't bring myself to want that for our family. The thought of Oliver spending more of his waking hours with someone else breaks my heart. I know my child inside and out. Sometimes I don't know where I stop and he begins! I want to be able to raise him with *our* family values, beliefs, morals. Not someone else's. I want to know what he struggles with and be able to help him. Not find out from a baby-sitter at the end of the day. That just isn't for me.
Who knows? Maybe I'll homeschool.
But regardless of these convictions, there are times when as a mother I need help. And I'm just starting to be able to say that. It feels like a weakness, something I try to avoid.
Some say it takes a village to raise a child...I say it takes a village to keep a mother sane!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Now for some smiles
Ok, after that last post, I figured we needed a more light-hearted post. Its been awhile since I posted pics, so here ya go. :-)
Oh, gosh.
There have been so many times that I've wanted to start a post and then didn't. There have been many "topics" I've spent a lot of time researching lately. Most of them have to do with Christian parenting. What is it? How can I be a better Christian AND mother, showing my son a Christ-like love? Its an issue I deal with daily. I recently found a website called Gentle Christian Mothers. This seems to be most like what I'm aiming for. They have many forums where other moms with similar viewpoints discuss topics and encourage one another. I've spent a couple of night being up too late reading these posts. :)
There are some topics that I've spent a lot of time reading about lately. One of them is spanking. I'll eventually do a whole post on my view of spanking (in one word: DON'T). I know this will not sit well with some people, maybe a lot of people. Oh well. I'm getting used to being a bit "different" with our parenting, lol. Perhaps one of the hazards of having been a history major is that when I write about an issue, I feel the need to back it up with references. Something like spanking and why I believe it is NOT a Christian way to parent children is a hot topic. I do not mean to offend anyone. And trust me, I realize that I have not been a mother nearly as long as a lot of those reading this. I get that. But I also know what I feel is right for me, for our family. So even though this *is* my blog, I'm not trying to upset others. So if you don't like what I have to say, well, don't read it. :) Pretty easy, eh? (I'll admit, I have a problem with not wanting to ever offend anyone.)
It seems as though many of our friends and family members believe in spanking. Some of them I think have actually thought it out and decided that its best for them. I don't get it...at all. I've tried. I've listened and watched it as its acted out. And it still leaves me cringing. I feel terrible for the child. No matter what they've done, the sight of a child being spanked really bothers me. I mean...really? People believe that striking a child, even on the behind, is teaching them a lesson? Huh. Maybe I'm missing something. Sometimes I'm just perplexed to see spanking as the choice for discipline. Sometimes it takes everything in me not to say "Are you freaking kidding me??!?!"
Let me be clear. I absolutely believe that children need to be disciplined. Discipline and punishment are not the same thing. I have high expectations for how my child will act and we are just at the tip of the disciplining iceberg. Children MUST have guidance, boundaries, and consequences for their actions. I know of some people who don't spank, but also don't discipline their children at all. There's no excuse for that, either.
And some people I think spank because they don't know what else to do. They were probably spanked as a child and think 'hey, I turned out ok so it must work.' (Excuse me while I go bang my head on a padded wall.) you know what, I was spanked as a child too. Not hard, and not often. I don't think I turned out "ok" because I was spanked or in spite of being spanked. I can hardly ever remember my mother spanking me and I don't ever remember my dad doing it. I know that they did what they felt was best and I completely respect that. But that doesn't mean I have to do it the same way.
And I think some parents spank because its easy. I mean, come on. It would be waaaay easier for me to spank Oliver every time he started up the stairs by himself. Say (or yell) "I said no!", spank on the behind. Done. Its much more time consuming to re-direct and it takes much more self control to be a calm, gentle disciplinarian.
Either way, most parents that I personally have come in contact with that spanks does not seem to have a good understanding of child development. The reasoning they give for why they spank always leaves me with "But, don't you understand..." on the tip of my tongue. Most of the time I just bite my tongue.
It just makes me sad to see children spanked.
::sigh::
Ok, my first anti-spanking rant is about done. I know some of my friends and family that will read this spank their children. I still love you, you know that. :) As a Christian, I try not to judge, this is just a hard situation for me not to. Hey, I never said I was perfect. I know some people who I consider to be awesome parents, but that spank their children and *that* always leaves me perplexed.
We all have things we are passionate about. Maybe its breastfeeding. Maybe its being a stay-at-home-mom. Or maybe its being a working mom. I have a few different ones...babywearing, co-sleeping (or the "family bed"), being a stay-at-home-mom...and as we all now know..anti-spanking.
There are some topics that I've spent a lot of time reading about lately. One of them is spanking. I'll eventually do a whole post on my view of spanking (in one word: DON'T). I know this will not sit well with some people, maybe a lot of people. Oh well. I'm getting used to being a bit "different" with our parenting, lol. Perhaps one of the hazards of having been a history major is that when I write about an issue, I feel the need to back it up with references. Something like spanking and why I believe it is NOT a Christian way to parent children is a hot topic. I do not mean to offend anyone. And trust me, I realize that I have not been a mother nearly as long as a lot of those reading this. I get that. But I also know what I feel is right for me, for our family. So even though this *is* my blog, I'm not trying to upset others. So if you don't like what I have to say, well, don't read it. :) Pretty easy, eh? (I'll admit, I have a problem with not wanting to ever offend anyone.)
It seems as though many of our friends and family members believe in spanking. Some of them I think have actually thought it out and decided that its best for them. I don't get it...at all. I've tried. I've listened and watched it as its acted out. And it still leaves me cringing. I feel terrible for the child. No matter what they've done, the sight of a child being spanked really bothers me. I mean...really? People believe that striking a child, even on the behind, is teaching them a lesson? Huh. Maybe I'm missing something. Sometimes I'm just perplexed to see spanking as the choice for discipline. Sometimes it takes everything in me not to say "Are you freaking kidding me??!?!"
Let me be clear. I absolutely believe that children need to be disciplined. Discipline and punishment are not the same thing. I have high expectations for how my child will act and we are just at the tip of the disciplining iceberg. Children MUST have guidance, boundaries, and consequences for their actions. I know of some people who don't spank, but also don't discipline their children at all. There's no excuse for that, either.
And some people I think spank because they don't know what else to do. They were probably spanked as a child and think 'hey, I turned out ok so it must work.' (Excuse me while I go bang my head on a padded wall.) you know what, I was spanked as a child too. Not hard, and not often. I don't think I turned out "ok" because I was spanked or in spite of being spanked. I can hardly ever remember my mother spanking me and I don't ever remember my dad doing it. I know that they did what they felt was best and I completely respect that. But that doesn't mean I have to do it the same way.
And I think some parents spank because its easy. I mean, come on. It would be waaaay easier for me to spank Oliver every time he started up the stairs by himself. Say (or yell) "I said no!", spank on the behind. Done. Its much more time consuming to re-direct and it takes much more self control to be a calm, gentle disciplinarian.
Either way, most parents that I personally have come in contact with that spanks does not seem to have a good understanding of child development. The reasoning they give for why they spank always leaves me with "But, don't you understand..." on the tip of my tongue. Most of the time I just bite my tongue.
It just makes me sad to see children spanked.
::sigh::
Ok, my first anti-spanking rant is about done. I know some of my friends and family that will read this spank their children. I still love you, you know that. :) As a Christian, I try not to judge, this is just a hard situation for me not to. Hey, I never said I was perfect. I know some people who I consider to be awesome parents, but that spank their children and *that* always leaves me perplexed.
We all have things we are passionate about. Maybe its breastfeeding. Maybe its being a stay-at-home-mom. Or maybe its being a working mom. I have a few different ones...babywearing, co-sleeping (or the "family bed"), being a stay-at-home-mom...and as we all now know..anti-spanking.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Sleep (or lack thereof)
Last night I had big ambitions to bake. I sat down about 10:30...and never got back up. An hour later I realized it was just not going to happen. So I turned off the oven that I had pre-heated, got myself ready for bed, and laid down...and laid there. And laid there. At one point, I put earplugs in to block out the snoring coming from both Jay and Oliver, lol. Then I took the earplugs out. I put another blanket on...and took it off. I got up to go to the bathroom. I cuddled with Oliver. I turned over and let him lay however he wanted.
Jay's alarm goes off, and I still had not fallen asleep. Are you freaking kidding me? It was 5:00 a.m. and I was still awake. Soon after that Oliver woke up. We got up and changed his diaper and got him a sippy with water. We laid back down and I text my mom who had just gotten to work. She couldn't believe I was still awake. We both finally fell asleep around 7 a.m. I woke up on and off and Oliver finally woke up at 9:20ish. So I got about 2 hours of very broken sleep. Let's just say I was counting down to naptime from the minute I got up.
But the day went ok. I even made it to the park with Oliver for half an hour of good play time. By 1:45, Oliver was ready for a nap and so was I. Thankfully, he fell asleep quickly and so did I.
I got a better nap than I did an entire night's sleep.
For tonight I did manage to get 5 dozen cookies baked and 2 dozen outlined and ready to decorate tomorrow. Thankfully the cookies aren't hard to decorate so I'm not worried about getting them done for Friday.
Off to bed I go. I just took some sinus meds that will probably make me sleepy. I must get sleep tonight. I will not be able to function tomorrow if I miss another night's sleep.
Here's to hoping for a good night's sleep... ::fingers crossed::
Jay's alarm goes off, and I still had not fallen asleep. Are you freaking kidding me? It was 5:00 a.m. and I was still awake. Soon after that Oliver woke up. We got up and changed his diaper and got him a sippy with water. We laid back down and I text my mom who had just gotten to work. She couldn't believe I was still awake. We both finally fell asleep around 7 a.m. I woke up on and off and Oliver finally woke up at 9:20ish. So I got about 2 hours of very broken sleep. Let's just say I was counting down to naptime from the minute I got up.
But the day went ok. I even made it to the park with Oliver for half an hour of good play time. By 1:45, Oliver was ready for a nap and so was I. Thankfully, he fell asleep quickly and so did I.
I got a better nap than I did an entire night's sleep.
For tonight I did manage to get 5 dozen cookies baked and 2 dozen outlined and ready to decorate tomorrow. Thankfully the cookies aren't hard to decorate so I'm not worried about getting them done for Friday.
Off to bed I go. I just took some sinus meds that will probably make me sleepy. I must get sleep tonight. I will not be able to function tomorrow if I miss another night's sleep.
Here's to hoping for a good night's sleep... ::fingers crossed::
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)